To Kiss Or Not To Kiss

Kissing is a means of getting two people so close together that they can't see anything wrong with each other.  ~Rene Yasenek


The sound of a kiss is not so loud as that of a cannon, but its echo lasts a great deal longer.  ~Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr., The Professor at the Breakfast-Table

                                            

Aaaah. Kiss. Such a wonderous gift given to us by nature. It increases the feeling of intimacy between two people. A kiss can tell you if a person is not interested or is dying to just rip apart your clothes and have you. Since the last few days, I have been seeing alot about kisses. One of my facebook communities has done 2,3 articles on kisses, I saw people kissing so lovingly and tenderly on the telly and just now I got to know that Glee's next episode has the title "Never Been Kissed". So all this pushed me into writing a post about kissing.

I have been with quite a number of guys in my past. You wont be entirely wrong if you would call me a slut. But that is me in the past. The me in the present is a totally different person. Back in those days I had just discovered my freedom as I was away from home due to studies. There was no one to keep an eye on my comings and goings and so I did what most people do when they discover that no one is keeping track of their time. I had sex. Lolz. Now I am not saying that everyone does this. I however did it. I am not proud of it but yes I did learn a few lessons during those times.

I think that the first thing we learn about human intimacy is about kissing. Its a very common thing and we see it when we are children enjoying cartoons. I remember being fascinated by Eric and Ariel kissing in The Little Mermaid. It seemed to be such a magical thing. Two people locking their lips together and just being lost in each others arms. As we grow older, we come face to face with porn. Which makes kissing seem all more real and fascinating. Add into it the hoop-la of the whole first kiss deal created by movies and series. All this makes kissing seem like the best thing in the world. Yet from my experience, I got to know that not many people out there know how to kiss! Lemme tell you about three guys which stood out for me. You know, for your enjoyment ;)

Guy no. 1: This guy is someone who I hold very close to my heart till today. You can say he is the best sex I have ever had. I just wish he knew how to kiss! We kissed quite alot and with tongue. Sounds good right? Well it didnt feel good because he would insert his tongue very deep in my mouth! So deep that at many times I gagged!! And still he never understood.


                                          


Guy No. 2: Another one of my experiences to which I look back and smile coz it was a good time. He however didnt know how to kiss as well. He would kiss softly......then open his mouth and do something which felt like he was lickin all my mouth. He wouldnt stay on the lips. He would start going all over and around my lips and I didnt have the heart to tell him because I didnt wanna hurt him. So, every chance that I got, I would quickly wipe off all his saliva on my face from my sleeve. Eeek.

Guy No. 3: Now this guy was the cherry on the cake. He was kind of a good kisser. But one faux pas made it impossible for me to ever kiss him. We were kissing.......and he burped in my mouth!! How disgusting!!! Such a HUGE turnoff!!!

I am not claiming at all that I am a good kisser. I am just sharing my experiences. If you wanna know whether I am a good or bad kisser, you either have to kiss me or ask my exes :P But to all the guys out there, I am asking you very humbly and as a friend. Please learn how to be a good kisser. Watch couples kissing and learn. Because you will be kissing your boyfriend, girlfriend or life partner alot of times. And if it is not good, then it wont be enjoyable.

If Only He Was Gay

One thing that you should know about me is that I am not exactly the friendliest guy on earth. I am reserved but not rude. If someone asks me something, I politely answer. But I dont make friends easily. I have seen many people who gell up with other people in a matter of minutes. I need my time to get comfortable with the other person.

I started going to the gym around 8 months ago. Now a gym is a place where apparently people make friends. I just wanted to get a good physique. So I used my best weapon to block out everyone at the gym. My headphones. I realized that if you keep listening to music and have earphones plugged in your ears, people tend not to disturb you. So far I was being successful. Ofcourse I am not exactly an ass you know. I do say hi hello to people that I have been seeing for a long time in the gym. A few days ago, one of these guys made an effort to take it to the next level. Lets call him Fred. He is an Omani and doesnt speak fluent english but he told me that he wants to work out with me so we can help each other out. Initially for like 2,3 seconds I didnt know what to say. Someone was trying to get through my barriers! But I felt rude in declining so I said ok while wondering that how on earth are we gonna talk coz I dunno Arabic and he is not well versed in English!

Anyways we started working out the next day. It was kinda ok. But then after that we couldnt meet up for 2,3 days due to my classes. Yesterday we were both at the gym and again he said he wanted to work out together! Crap. I was kinda hoping it wouldnt come up again. So we met today and worked out together. It was.....different. He helped me out whenever it was getting difficult for me. The most wierd part was when we were doing chest exercises. I would lie on the bench and he would come and stand over my head with his legs apart and his crotch a little to close to my face!! I would keep repeating "I hate this position" in my head! When we changed positions, I would make extra efforts to keep my distance from his face. But Fred didnt seem to notice how close he always came!

After the workout, we both left. My house is at a 10 minutes walk from the gym and I always go back walking. When I saw Fred in his car, I started staring towards the ground and walking quickly so that the "shall I drop you" part doesnt come. I was walking by the lane on which the cars were coming. He was on the lane on which the cars were going. I kept walking and then suddenly this car came from behind and stopped right near my legs!! I looked back with a "what the fuck?!" expression and saw him grinning! He had actually come after me and instead of stopping on the opposite road and just honking and getting my attention, he came on the wrong side of the road and stopped his car! To make matters worst, there was already a car on this road and Fred was in his way now. I looked at Fred, he offerred to drop me even though my house would be out of the way for him. I declined. He insisted. I again said thank you but declined coz my house was nearby. So he smiled and left. Meanwhile the other guy just waited while we talked and kept glaring at Fred! Oops :P

After all this when I came home, I was thinking how romantic it is to be treated like this. That someone goes out of their way (literally in my case :P) to be nice to you. Sighs. If only he was gay......it would've felt like a movie. But after my past relation fiascos, I am so not making any more assumptions. If someone likes me, they gotta say it to my face instead of making me guess. Anyways I am not even saying he was gay and this is his romantic gesture. I am just sayin that....if felt nice. And I enjoyed it :)

The Natural Way

I have heard alot about homophobes ever since I joined d e-world. I have even seen homophobes on tv. But lately I personally got to meet my very first homophobe. There is a girl in my class and we recently started talking. She sends me text messages every day now which kinda bugs me because I dont wanna lead her on. Anyways, we were talking and at one point she made a joke about her not being into her girlfriend. So basically she said that she isnt a lesbian. I told her that even if she was, it doesnt matter to me. So this was her reply:

"Hey!! What do you mean it doesnt matter??? I like the natural way. Guys like girls and girls like guys. I hate the in-betweens!!! Yuck! Yuck!!!"

So according to her being gay is not natural. Hmmmm. It got me thinking that may be I am sufferring from amnesia. Because I dont remember the time when I was mutated by a mad scientist into being a gay guy from a straight guy!!

Faith.....And Lack Of It

Its been a while since I blogged. Nothing really worth blogging hapenned until a few days ago. And this incident is something I just cant stop myself from blogging about. I recently saw the episode "Grilled Cheesus" of Glee's new season. Now dont get me wrong. This post is NOT against Glee. I love Glee more than any program I have ever seen and I connect to it at many levels. This is just about something in it that got me thinking. It was basically about religion and how people believe in God and how some people dont. I have always been a very strong believer in God. And I try my best to mould my life according to how he wants me to live it. But ofcourse I am not always successful. Hello, human here. Anyways, in that episode somethings hit home really hard. Like how Kurt says he doesnt believe in God because if there is a God then why would he make him gay and then tell his followers that gay people are bad. And especially the part where Sue says that she prayed but nothing hapennd so she prayed harder only to realize that she wasnt praying incorrectly, there just wasnt anyone out there who was listening.

I have been aware of my sexuality even since I was 16 years old. For a long time I kept praying that I become "normal". That what I feel for guys, goes away. That never hapenned. Time after time someone would come along, make me fall in love with them and then walk away without telling me how to fall out of love. I prayed that the pain would go away.....that didnt happen either. So I started wondering, is there really no one out there? That we just made up this concept of God because we need to turn to someone when we cant find the solutions of our problems? Yes, I did loose my faith.

                                                       

After some time I decided to check out my emails. One of my cousins had sent me an email about God. Usually I delete such emails without reading them. But I had this thought that ok lets read this one and then I can delete it. It was a story about a guy. And here is how it goes:

"A young man had been to Wednesday Night Class of Quranic Studies.

 The Muslim (Scholar) had shared about listening to Allah and obeying Allah through intuition. The young man couldn't help but wonder, 'Does Allah still speak to people through intuition?' After Lessons, he went out with some friends for coffee and pie and they discussed the message.. Several different ones talked about how Allah had led them in different ways and that at the end you'll know it was Allah (SWT) Who has directed you. It was about ten o'clock when the young man started driving home. Sitting in his car, he just began to pray, 'Allah...If you still speak to people, speak to me. I will listen. I will do my best to obey.' As he drove down the main street of his town, he had the strangest thought to stop and buy a gallon of milk. He shook his head and said out loud, 'Allah is that you?' He didn't get a reply and started on toward home. But again, the thought, buy a gallon of milk came into his head. 'Okay, Allah, in case that is you, I will buy the milk.' It didn't seem like too hard a test of obedience. He could always use the milk. He stopped and purchased the gallon of milk and started off toward home. As he passed Seventh Street, he again felt the urge, 'Turn Down that street.' This is crazy he thought, and drove on past the intersection. Again, he felt that he should turn down Seventh Street. At the next intersection, he turned back and headed down Seventh. Half jokingly, he said out loud, 'Okay, Allah, I will.' He drove several blocks, when suddenly, he felt like he should stop. He pulled over to the curb and looked around. He was in a semi-commercial area of town. It wasn't the best but it wasn't the worst of neighbourhoods either. The businesses were closed and most of the houses looked dark like the people were already in bed. Again, he sensed something, 'Go and give the milk to the people in the house across the street.' The young man looked at the house. It was dark and it looked like the people were either gone or they were already asleep. He started to open the door and then sat back in the car seat. 'Allah, this is insane. Those people are asleep and if I wake them up, they are going to be mad and I will look stupid.' Again, he felt like he should go and give the milk.

Finally, he opened the door, 'Okay Allah (SWT), if this is you, I will go to the door and I will give them the milk. If you want me to look like a crazy person, okay. I want to be obedient. I guess that will  count for something, but if they don't answer right away, I am out of here.'  He walked across the street and rang the bell. He could hear some noise inside. A man's voice yelled out, 'Who is it? What do you want?' Then the door opened before the young man could get away.The man was standing there in his jeans and T-shirt. He looked like he just got out of bed. He had a strange look on his face and he didn't seem too happy to have some stranger standing on his doorstep. 'What is it?' The young man thrust out the gallon of milk, 'Here, I brought this to you.' The man took the milk and rushed down a hallway. Then from down the hall came a woman carrying the milk toward the kitchen. The man was following her holding a baby. The baby was crying. The man had tears streaming down his face. The man began speaking and half crying, 'We were just praying.We had some big bills this month and we ran out of money. We didn't have any milk for our baby. I was just praying and asking Allah (SWT) to show me how to get some milk.' His wife in the kitchen yelled out, 'I ask him to send an Angel with some milk. Are you an Angel?' The young man reached into his wallet and pulled out all the money he had on him and put in the man's hand. He turned and walked back toward his car and the tears were streaming down his face. He knew that Allah (SWT) still answers prayers. "

After reading this, I sat speechless for 20 seconds while goosebumps erupted all over my body like someone was throwing ice cold water on me. It was then that I realized that Allah DOES listen. He saw that my faith was shaken, he pointed me to check my email and then he showed me that he does listen. All we need is a little faith in him. I think there are many people out there who are loosing their faith over one thing or another. So I hope this story and my own experience helps in restoring their faith.