Yesterday was my Mom and Dad's wedding anniversary. That also 25th. We had a wonderful time. But before going into details, a brief recap.
Mom was kinda feeling pretty down since the last two days. Part of the reason was that she wanted to celebrate her anniversary with our entire family in Karachi. But since none of us could leave our studies or jobs, we couldnt go. The other part of the reason was that her kids have grown up. Mom has always been very close and involved in our lives. We used to discuss everything with her. Well ofcourse apart from my gayness.But now we all have our own lives and things we cant tell her. We grew up. She is having a hard time accepting that. Due to which she was depressed and missing her family more.
I tend to try and do something special for my loved ones. Something which has me writen all over it :p So a month before the date, I wore my thinking cap and started going through ideas as to how to make this day memorable. Usually people give a big party and call all their friends. But we dont have a big friend circle. And most of our family friends are religious. Meaning segregation in the party. Hell no!. Budget wasnt much so I decided to decorate the lounge in themes of silver and white. So I bought silver streamers, fancy ribbons and stuff. But I wasnt satisfied. I wanted something more. Then I saw an arch-shaped thing somewhere, all decorated and beautiful and new that I wanted it! I just wanted a beautiful arch in the lounge!
The next part was figuring out how to make one! And yes I wanted to make one. Personal touch. I went to so many places to get an idea. I even considered getting logs of wood and making one myself! Sweaty shirtless woodcutter, HOT! :P Thank God I didnt know where to get wood from. So I got two cloth stands, you know the ones on which you can hang your clothes, and decided 2 used them as an arch. I covered them in a beautiful silverish cloth and streamers with hand knitten number "25" and "Happy Anniversary" hanging from it. Two days before the anniversary, I went to Chris's house and set everything up. And on 25th Feb, at 5:30 AM, my siblings and I got up and started the decorations. We finished everything up around 10 AM and that's went Dad entered the lounge. He was shocked for a second and then this broad smile came on his face and he kept smiling for a minute or two, looking at everything.
Around 12 pm I got a call and had to go to my room because it was a very dear gay friend of mine and we talk openly which I couldnt do with my family sitting around. After the call I came back to the lounge and saw that Mum was awake and had seen it all. Saying she looked shocked would be an understatement. She came and hugged me and got all teary eyed and super emotional. That whole day Mum was SO happy. She hugged me three times the entire day which rarely happens because I dont usually hug :P Seeing that her children made efforts to make their parents happy seemed to restore something in her. I could feel it. That day we took many pics and they were awesome, mostly because of me decorations :P I really really wanna post pics of the decor over here so I can share with you guys. But cant.
I rarely feel proud to be gay. Usually due to being gay, my life is filled with all sorts of crap. But if it werent for my gay side, the thought of doing all this would never have occurred to me. The glowy and happy look on Mum's face and in her eyes? Totally worth the crap :)
Monday, February 28, 2011
Saturday, February 19, 2011
A Bloody Problem
I am usually very cautious when meeting guys from the internet. You never know who might be on the other end. It could be a decent guy or an ax-wielding murderer. So in order to make sure that I know what I am getting into, I chat with the other guy at least 3,4 times and exchanging pics is a must. I once went to a blind date and......lets just say I wished I was blind! Only when a guy passes through all my screenings, then I agree to meet up. Mostly in that duration you can figure out which guys are just looking for hook ups and who is into more than just sex.
I started chatting with a guy a few weeks ago. He is an Omani and he can speak pretty good English which is a huge plus because mostly they dont have good command on English due to which it becomes very difficult to communicate with them. A guy told me once "Babi, I am very haarny." (Baby, I am very horny). I shuddered and pressed the block button. Yes I can be a real bitch when it comes to filtering people. I dont like to waste my time.Anyways back to the guy. So we had quite a good conversation, he taught me how to type in arabic and I taught him the meaning of some English words. We exchanged pics and he is good looking. Sometimes he used to flirt with me so I responded in that way. In short, we have become quite friendly.
However, most of the time he used to be at home. He told me he wasnt well, in the first chat. I figured out it might be. When he showed me latest pics of his, it seems to me that he had dark circles and his eyes were sort of a yellowish shade. When I asked him about it, he just laughed it off. So I let it go, pics can sometimes mess up the features. Anyways, we chatted for about 2 weeks and then he just disappeared. I didnt understand at first what had happened. He seemed quite into me but then you find weird people on the net all the time. So I placed him in the "Weird" category and moved on.
After about 10,12 days, he came online again last night. And he started the chat with "miss you". I was kinda pretty pissed at his disappearing act and me being me, I gave him a piece of my mind. This is how it went.
Me: "Are you kidding me? You disappeared for almost to weeks without any explanation and now you come and say miss you and expect me to say the same??? Where the hell have you been?!"
Him: "Sorry my friend I was sick."
Me: "Yeah you told me that two weeks ago and I wanna know what is it?"
Him: "I will tell you later."
Me: "You know what, I am tired of waiting. You keep on saying later. I wanna know NOW."
There was a pause for about a minute and I wondered if he had gone offline. Then his reply came,
"I have Hepatitis B"
Fuck!! I was horrified! And I felt so sorry for him. Now, I dunno much about hepatitis but I do know thats its not flu! And it can be transmitted! Anyways, I gulped down my shock and we chatted a bit about his illness. He doesnt know how he got it and he didnt tell me at first because people usually run away when they hear about it. Also, he says that there are periods when the virus is back and then its gone. And he was away because he was ill and resting. But now he is ok again and wants to meet me! I didnt know what to say so I stalled by saying that I have classes all this week. But I cant ignore him like this. I wont. Ignoring him or avoiding meeting him just because he has Hepatitis would be cruel. It might crush him and I wont do that to another human being! So I told him I will be free next week. But I am kinda worried now. What if he wants to kiss me? Can Hepatitis be transferred by a kiss? How do I avoid it? I tried reading about it on the internet but it was just loads of medical terms! So anyone who has any ideas, I'd really appreciate any useful information. Because frankly, yellow eyes? I cannot rock that look!
I started chatting with a guy a few weeks ago. He is an Omani and he can speak pretty good English which is a huge plus because mostly they dont have good command on English due to which it becomes very difficult to communicate with them. A guy told me once "Babi, I am very haarny." (Baby, I am very horny). I shuddered and pressed the block button. Yes I can be a real bitch when it comes to filtering people. I dont like to waste my time.Anyways back to the guy. So we had quite a good conversation, he taught me how to type in arabic and I taught him the meaning of some English words. We exchanged pics and he is good looking. Sometimes he used to flirt with me so I responded in that way. In short, we have become quite friendly.
However, most of the time he used to be at home. He told me he wasnt well, in the first chat. I figured out it might be. When he showed me latest pics of his, it seems to me that he had dark circles and his eyes were sort of a yellowish shade. When I asked him about it, he just laughed it off. So I let it go, pics can sometimes mess up the features. Anyways, we chatted for about 2 weeks and then he just disappeared. I didnt understand at first what had happened. He seemed quite into me but then you find weird people on the net all the time. So I placed him in the "Weird" category and moved on.
After about 10,12 days, he came online again last night. And he started the chat with "miss you". I was kinda pretty pissed at his disappearing act and me being me, I gave him a piece of my mind. This is how it went.
Me: "Are you kidding me? You disappeared for almost to weeks without any explanation and now you come and say miss you and expect me to say the same??? Where the hell have you been?!"
Him: "Sorry my friend I was sick."
Me: "Yeah you told me that two weeks ago and I wanna know what is it?"
Him: "I will tell you later."
Me: "You know what, I am tired of waiting. You keep on saying later. I wanna know NOW."
There was a pause for about a minute and I wondered if he had gone offline. Then his reply came,
"I have Hepatitis B"
Fuck!! I was horrified! And I felt so sorry for him. Now, I dunno much about hepatitis but I do know thats its not flu! And it can be transmitted! Anyways, I gulped down my shock and we chatted a bit about his illness. He doesnt know how he got it and he didnt tell me at first because people usually run away when they hear about it. Also, he says that there are periods when the virus is back and then its gone. And he was away because he was ill and resting. But now he is ok again and wants to meet me! I didnt know what to say so I stalled by saying that I have classes all this week. But I cant ignore him like this. I wont. Ignoring him or avoiding meeting him just because he has Hepatitis would be cruel. It might crush him and I wont do that to another human being! So I told him I will be free next week. But I am kinda worried now. What if he wants to kiss me? Can Hepatitis be transferred by a kiss? How do I avoid it? I tried reading about it on the internet but it was just loads of medical terms! So anyone who has any ideas, I'd really appreciate any useful information. Because frankly, yellow eyes? I cannot rock that look!
Thursday, February 17, 2011
A Bite To Remember
I live quite a boring life. I dont have a huge friend circle. All I do is go to classes and back home. Sometimes I go on dates but they usually tun out to be disappointing so I have stopped doing that as well. And that is how I have started to expect my life to be. Boring and dull. But sometimes things happen that kind of shake you completely. This post is about one of them.
I was with Brian and Chris yesterday at Brian's place. If you are a new reader, then more details are here. We usually dont hang out at each other's houses. But Brian had some work so we were at his place. We were all cuddled up on Brian's bed while Chris did some work on the laptop. Brian had one arm around my shoulder and the other on my lower back. After a little while he slowly started pulling my sleeves up. At first I kept pulling them down but he wouldnt stop so I let him be. Then he started caressing my upper arm slowly and sensually. Then he started peeling the t-shrt from my shoulder and slowly started moving his hand towards my nipples. I'd had enough, I grabbed his hand and held it. So with his other hand, the one near my lower back, he started slowly pulling up my t-shirt. As luck would have it, his phone rang and he had to stop. Chris didnt have any idea what was going on behind him.
After like two hours or so we ran out of topics to talk about. At that point, Brian was doing work on his laptop, Chris and I were just sitting. It got boring after a while. I just cant sit idle. It makes me strangely uncomfortable. So I started messing with Chris and we started fighting like little kids do. Built-wise, Chris is slimmer than me. So when I was about to overpower him, he asked Brian to step in and help him. Brian. who is taller and more well built than me, got up came around the bed, easily picked me in his arms and laid me on the the other side of the bed. He wrestled me easily into a position from where I literally couldnt do anything except say that I will behave after which he let me go. But still, Chris and I kept on playing like little idiotic kids. Had to pass the time somehow till Brian was busy with his work.
I have a habit of using the word fuck often.When we all were just sitting and talking, I said fuck on something. Then Brian says, "Lets try that from today onwards we wont swear at all. No using bad words". Brian is someone who can curse like a truck driver. So I laughed and said I will use the word fuck as much as I want. I actually said "Fuckitty FUCK FUCK FUCK!". To tease me, Brian asked God to forgive me for using abusive words with a smirk on his face. So I got real close to his face and said "Fuck you!". What happened next is a blur except for a few things.
I remember Brian quickly getting up from the bed, coming to my side. He wrestled me on the bed which I lost coz he is bigger than me, pinned my arms and laid on top of me, his face just inches from mine. He asked me to say sorry which I didnt so he smiled, looked into my eyes and kept coming closer. When his lips were close enough to brush mine, I turned my head to the right and dug it in the pillow. Then I felt him kissing my neck and a current of shock ran through me. He bit my neck softly, when I tried to pull away, he held on and said "Say Sorry". Now people, I dont say sorry at all if I believe I am right. So I didnt. Instead I tried to wiggle my neck out of his teeth while Chris kept on asking if we both have gone mad! I got my neck free and looked into his eyes again. He kept coming closer to kiss me and at the last moment, Chris shoved a paper between our faces. Brian tried to remove it with his teeth since he wasnt willing to let go of my hands. He actually bit my cheek while trying to move the paper. Once it was gone and he was out of breath, he started nuzzling his face against mine and laid his head on my chest for a few seconds. Then, again he started inching towards my lips. This time I didnt back down or turn sideways. I was kind of in shock and couldnt move much. Just before his lips could touch mine, Chris again shoved a paper between our lips while asking Brian if he had turned gay! Brian again tried to move the paper with his teeth and this time he pulled my lower lip along with the paper. Then I think something sink in because he got off me. Chris told me later that he had asked Brian at that time in a serious tone whether he was gay, to which Brian didnt reply but changed the topic.
After catching our breaths again, Chris asked Brian,
"Would you have kissed him?"
Brian said "Yes"
I turned to him and asked in a shocked voice "You actually would'v kissed me???"
Again he says "Yes"
Baffled, I asked "Why?? Why would you do that?"
And he replies, "No reason"
Then I remembered his "love"bite and rushed to the mirror to see if he had left a mark on my neck. It was there, but not too visible. To make a point, I told Brian that if he did any such thing again, I WILL bite his neck and wont back off. He came close, showed me his neck and said, "Do it now!" and started goading me into doing it. Chris put an end to this madness by coming in between us and pushing us far apart asking if we had totally lost it!!! Brian smiled and went out of the room, the door closing behind him. Chris and I stood there in silence for a while, taking it all in. Then I asked him,
"You still think it's in my head?"
Chris replies, "Nopes".
I was with Brian and Chris yesterday at Brian's place. If you are a new reader, then more details are here. We usually dont hang out at each other's houses. But Brian had some work so we were at his place. We were all cuddled up on Brian's bed while Chris did some work on the laptop. Brian had one arm around my shoulder and the other on my lower back. After a little while he slowly started pulling my sleeves up. At first I kept pulling them down but he wouldnt stop so I let him be. Then he started caressing my upper arm slowly and sensually. Then he started peeling the t-shrt from my shoulder and slowly started moving his hand towards my nipples. I'd had enough, I grabbed his hand and held it. So with his other hand, the one near my lower back, he started slowly pulling up my t-shirt. As luck would have it, his phone rang and he had to stop. Chris didnt have any idea what was going on behind him.
After like two hours or so we ran out of topics to talk about. At that point, Brian was doing work on his laptop, Chris and I were just sitting. It got boring after a while. I just cant sit idle. It makes me strangely uncomfortable. So I started messing with Chris and we started fighting like little kids do. Built-wise, Chris is slimmer than me. So when I was about to overpower him, he asked Brian to step in and help him. Brian. who is taller and more well built than me, got up came around the bed, easily picked me in his arms and laid me on the the other side of the bed. He wrestled me easily into a position from where I literally couldnt do anything except say that I will behave after which he let me go. But still, Chris and I kept on playing like little idiotic kids. Had to pass the time somehow till Brian was busy with his work.
I have a habit of using the word fuck often.When we all were just sitting and talking, I said fuck on something. Then Brian says, "Lets try that from today onwards we wont swear at all. No using bad words". Brian is someone who can curse like a truck driver. So I laughed and said I will use the word fuck as much as I want. I actually said "Fuckitty FUCK FUCK FUCK!". To tease me, Brian asked God to forgive me for using abusive words with a smirk on his face. So I got real close to his face and said "Fuck you!". What happened next is a blur except for a few things.
I remember Brian quickly getting up from the bed, coming to my side. He wrestled me on the bed which I lost coz he is bigger than me, pinned my arms and laid on top of me, his face just inches from mine. He asked me to say sorry which I didnt so he smiled, looked into my eyes and kept coming closer. When his lips were close enough to brush mine, I turned my head to the right and dug it in the pillow. Then I felt him kissing my neck and a current of shock ran through me. He bit my neck softly, when I tried to pull away, he held on and said "Say Sorry". Now people, I dont say sorry at all if I believe I am right. So I didnt. Instead I tried to wiggle my neck out of his teeth while Chris kept on asking if we both have gone mad! I got my neck free and looked into his eyes again. He kept coming closer to kiss me and at the last moment, Chris shoved a paper between our faces. Brian tried to remove it with his teeth since he wasnt willing to let go of my hands. He actually bit my cheek while trying to move the paper. Once it was gone and he was out of breath, he started nuzzling his face against mine and laid his head on my chest for a few seconds. Then, again he started inching towards my lips. This time I didnt back down or turn sideways. I was kind of in shock and couldnt move much. Just before his lips could touch mine, Chris again shoved a paper between our lips while asking Brian if he had turned gay! Brian again tried to move the paper with his teeth and this time he pulled my lower lip along with the paper. Then I think something sink in because he got off me. Chris told me later that he had asked Brian at that time in a serious tone whether he was gay, to which Brian didnt reply but changed the topic.
After catching our breaths again, Chris asked Brian,
"Would you have kissed him?"
Brian said "Yes"
I turned to him and asked in a shocked voice "You actually would'v kissed me???"
Again he says "Yes"
Baffled, I asked "Why?? Why would you do that?"
And he replies, "No reason"
Then I remembered his "love"bite and rushed to the mirror to see if he had left a mark on my neck. It was there, but not too visible. To make a point, I told Brian that if he did any such thing again, I WILL bite his neck and wont back off. He came close, showed me his neck and said, "Do it now!" and started goading me into doing it. Chris put an end to this madness by coming in between us and pushing us far apart asking if we had totally lost it!!! Brian smiled and went out of the room, the door closing behind him. Chris and I stood there in silence for a while, taking it all in. Then I asked him,
"You still think it's in my head?"
Chris replies, "Nopes".
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Valentines Day
Valentines day. Ugh. I have always been a supporter of Valentines day. Although some of my friends are not in favour of it. They ask me that "why do you need a day to show someone that you love them?" Sure I agree with them. You dont need a particular day to show people that you love them. But who shows their lover how much they love them every day? Sometimes people even forget to say "I love You". So if you are getting one day to show someone how special they are to you, then why not do it?Anyways, I wasnt expecting to post about my Valentines day since I dont have any Valentine. But a few things worth mentioning happened so i thought why not. It has been a long time since I blogged. My Valentines day started with a message from my ex-girlfriend Claire!
"Happy Valentines Day to you.....hope you are doing good"
It was actually quite a shock for me because I wasnt expecting it at all. Partly because we arent exactly friends anymore, just cordial if we meet somewhere. And also because I met Claire a few days ago in a festival organized by our old school where we used to go together when we were dating. But this time she wasnt with me. She was with her new boyfriend. Yup, you read it correct. Claire apparently has a boyfriend. The festival went downhill for me from then on partly because she had moved on and also because my school time friends (who knew we were a couple) kept asking me who was the other guy. I didnt even wanna go to the festival in the first place because I knew she'd be there. But Brian forced me to go. And as a treat, I got to see her with a new guy.
Anways, back to valentines day. So i asked her if her boyfriend knows that she is wishing her ex. Apparently he did. It took me a little longer than usual to go to sleep that night. Got up the next day and went to a Valentines day party in my college. Usually I am not much of a party guy. I only go if I know my friends are coming. But this time I just didnt care. I needed a change. And it was a good change. I had fun socializing and being an idiot for a change.
After that me and a gay friend of mine had decided to meet up and watch a movie. His boyfriend was busy so he was alone. So I went to his place to celebrate our alone-ness. He had gone to get a few things so I waited outside his house. He returned a few minutes later.......with his boyfriend right behind him. I quickly re-arranged my expression to happiness and greeted them both and we went inside. Now people let me tell you, when you are alone in a room with your friend and his boyfriend on Valentines day? It's fucking horrifying!! The big elephant in the room (who no one wanted to address) was when the hell was I leaving. But I couldnt leave just then, it seemed obvious. So I sat with them for an hour or so. Now I wish I hadnt done that. Watching them together, the way they teased with each other, flirted, sat closely with their bodies touching and all, it just made me see what I didnt have. And that is not a good reminder when you are alone at Valentines day!
When I left his place I was quite down. My evening of enjoyment with my friend had turned into a pit of depression. It took me a trip to KFC to cheer me up. Then I went home, watched a movie and waited for this bloody day to get over.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
The Guy Who Was a Tease
I dont usually accept the friend requests of people who just add and never drop in a line. It seems that such people are just content to add you in their friends list and never speak to you. May be they wanna increase their number of friends. But I dont care much for it. I'd rather have quality friends than quantity.So I usually dont bother accepting.
A few days ago I was added by a guy on facebook. But he didnt care to drop a line. I was bout to ignore it but instead I emailed him. He replied and we exchanged a few emails. Apparently I gave him my email id even though I dont recall it. So we had a chat last night.
Usually there are very few people who can get under my skin and make me loose my calmness. He is one of those people. Just in his first few emails he described me as "more than a little arrogant" amongst other things. Now people let me tell you one thing. I am a little arrogant. But not so much that it would show. Just the healthy amount. Anyways he lives in Dubai, is good looking, educated and can hold a decent conversation. We had a chat for more than an hour and he just kept getting me worked up after every few minutes! A feat which is sort of hard to do since I try to be very calm and together.
By the end of the chat I wasnt even sure whether he lives in Dubai or Muscat. He knows this place so well that he could tell me the distance in minutes from a mall to where I live! Then we got into an argument over where he lives and just to get the proof I actually gave him my number! I never give people my number in the first chat! Man that guy knows how to manipulate. In a good sense though. And even though he texted me from Dubai, I am still unsure about where he lives! Totally confusion ride! Anyways kudos to you man! Its been a loooong time since I have been so worked up by someone! And just so you knw, I didnt tell you my real name. That was just a nick name people use :) So dont be too happy about your success. I got a few tricks of my own :)
A few days ago I was added by a guy on facebook. But he didnt care to drop a line. I was bout to ignore it but instead I emailed him. He replied and we exchanged a few emails. Apparently I gave him my email id even though I dont recall it. So we had a chat last night.
Usually there are very few people who can get under my skin and make me loose my calmness. He is one of those people. Just in his first few emails he described me as "more than a little arrogant" amongst other things. Now people let me tell you one thing. I am a little arrogant. But not so much that it would show. Just the healthy amount. Anyways he lives in Dubai, is good looking, educated and can hold a decent conversation. We had a chat for more than an hour and he just kept getting me worked up after every few minutes! A feat which is sort of hard to do since I try to be very calm and together.
By the end of the chat I wasnt even sure whether he lives in Dubai or Muscat. He knows this place so well that he could tell me the distance in minutes from a mall to where I live! Then we got into an argument over where he lives and just to get the proof I actually gave him my number! I never give people my number in the first chat! Man that guy knows how to manipulate. In a good sense though. And even though he texted me from Dubai, I am still unsure about where he lives! Totally confusion ride! Anyways kudos to you man! Its been a loooong time since I have been so worked up by someone! And just so you knw, I didnt tell you my real name. That was just a nick name people use :) So dont be too happy about your success. I got a few tricks of my own :)
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